As we speak, the bigwigs at the Court of Arbitration for Sport (CAS) in Lausanne are probably sipping expensive espresso and trying to decipher why on earth a group of professional footballers from South America and Europe suddenly developed a burning, genealogical desire to claim they have grandparents from Malaysia. It is a scene of peak sporting absurdity: a panel of Swiss lawyers squinting at documents that claim a Brazilian striker is as Malaysian as a plate of Nasi Lemak, while the rest of the footballing world watches with a mixture of pity and secondhand embarrassment.

While we wait for their verdict, let’s get one thing straight: whatever CAS decides—whether they reduce the players’ bans to a “slap on the wrist” or let them off with a stern finger-wag—it changes absolutely nothing for the real culprits. The CAS appeal is a desperate, expensive attempt to save the careers of seven players; it is not, and never will be, an exoneration of the Football Association of Malaysia (FAM). Even if CAS shows mercy, we are still left with the rotting carcass of a question: how did seven foreign nationals “conveniently” obtain Malaysian citizenship based on documents that FIFA—the world’s least likely moral compass—found to be forged?

Let’s talk about the FAM’s own “Independent Investigation Committee” (IIC), led by a former Chief Justice. They released a 59-page report that basically said, “We know it happened, but we don’t know who did it because nobody would talk to us.” The most delicious part of this bureaucratic comedy was the mysterious Notary Public in Johor Bahru. The committee found that this notary, who supposedly certified these magical birth certificates, simply refused to cooperate. Instead of treating this like a massive red flag the size of a football pitch, FAM dismissed the notary as “insignificant” to the wider investigation.

Insignificant? A legal official who may have witnessed the birth of a fraudulent document is “insignificant”? That’s like a detective finding a smoking gun and saying, “Don’t worry about the fingerprints, they’re probably just decorative.” This isn’t a missing library book; this is the alleged forgery of federal documents. In any other country, a notary refusing to cooperate with an investigation into state documents would be met with a battering ram and a pair of handcuffs, not a shrug and a “moving on.”

This brings us back to our dear Home Minister, Saifuddin Nasution. He insists that because PDRM and MACC are “investigating,” a Royal Commission of Inquiry (RCI) is redundant. But here’s the rub: the documents in question—the very “proof” of ancestry—come under the National Registration Department (NRD), which is under Saifuddin’s direct jurisdiction. Furthermore, the police (PDRM) are also under his ministry. Asking them to probe a fellow agency is the definition of a “conflict of interest.” It’s like asking a man to investigate his own kitchen for a missing pie while he’s still got crust on his chin.

Then we have the MACC, currently undergoing a crisis of integrity so deep they’d need a submarine to find the bottom. When this scandal first broke, both the police and MACC were quicker to decline an investigation than a vegan at a Brazilian steakhouse. They practically tripped over themselves to say it wasn’t their problem. Now, suddenly, we are supposed to believe they are the right tools for the job? It’s laughable. We are being asked to trust a system that spent months pretending there was nothing to see here.

We aren’t just talking about a bit of “administrative error”—the euphemism FAM loves to hide behind. We are talking about the potential subversion of the Federal Constitution to win a football match. If seven people can “conveniently” walk into citizenship through the back door of a football club, what does that say about the security of our national identity? If the government has nothing to hide, an RCI is the only way to move forward. Unlike FAM’s toothless committee, an RCI has the actual power to summon that “insignificant” Johor notary and make them speak. It has the power to look under the rugs where the NRD and FAM have been sweeping their dirt for years.

We need to know who in the NRD or the Ministry allowed these citizenships to be granted with such miraculous speed and such dubious paperwork. Was it gross negligence? Was it a “favour” for a well-connected official? Or was it just systemic incompetence? Whatever the answer, the public deserves a transparent accounting that only an independent body can provide.

If the Minister is so sure his departments are clean, let the RCI prove it. The CAS decision is a sideshow; the real match is about national integrity. Until we have an RCI, the stench of this forgery will linger longer than a durian in a closed elevator. Minister, if you want to clear the NRD’s name, stop hiding behind “ongoing investigations” and call for the RCI. Unless, of course, the “insignificant” details are actually the most damning ones.